It's okay

by Sara KM Kunz

I wrote this poem on yet another really fucking depressing day (sometime in early 2018). The kind of day that's taken one week of being a slob who doesn't shower, eat right, or do anything right to realize 'maybe I'm feeling depressed again'. The kind of day that made me say 'I thought I already healed from this! arrrgghgh!!!'

These days come and go. Healing from trauma is not linear. What helped me was truly accepting these days, and knowing they exist for a reason. When we live with trauma, sometimes we just shut down. Or cry spontaneously, or get road rage, or a million other things that seem bad- but they're all okay, and they don't last forever.

Once you can accept what you're going through, and let it in (or lie on the floor with the rest of the mess), things get easier.

You got this.

Let it all just lie on the floor.

The scattered dog toys, the junk food wrappers, the remote controls.

.Let the mess you feel move into the pillows, the kleenex, the netflix, and the blankets

Instead of staying in your mind and precious body.

Let it sit until tomorrow, when you can pick up the pieces.

Your mess is nothing to be afraid of,

nothing to be ashamed of.

Nothing to be angry about, sad about, mad about.

Your mess is your mess,

and it's okay to let it seep out,

like tea in hot water.

Take a big breath in,

see your pain and accept it. 

Then exhale and release whatever you can

to be picked up by the wind

like specks of dust.

Life is like a trampoline.

It seems the further down we go,

the greater our ability to reach new heights

as we inevitably bounce back.

You will bounce back,

maybe not now....

but, it’s okay.

 

 

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